How I Became the Best Me… and Saw Some Dance

I attended the first annual Best You Expo in Long Beach, CA this past Saturday. And IT. WAS. AWESOME.

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But, at first, I came in skeptical because I got the tickets for free. And let's face it, how good could it REALLY be if they're handing these things out like demo tracks on Hollywood Boulevard? (And even THOSE cost $10 if you actually take one. Trust me. One time I was chased.) I received the tickets because I've taken a class on mindvalley.com and they sent me an email. I needed some kind refresher so I signed up for one along with another friend of mine.

When we first got there I still wasn't 100% sold. I was worried there would be red tape, like we could only see the speakers in the booths in the basement, who would tie us up and torture us with meditation until we bought their self help program. But it turned out we had access to everything. Still didn't know what everything was. But we had it.

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The first speaker talked about basic concepts like living in the now, instead of the past or the future. I've heard that one a billion gagillion times but, still, it was fine... until he showed us the trailer of the movie he is producing based on his life. Dude, I love your passion, but 1: You had a typo on the slides you showed us, proofread; and 2: your video quality was grainy and dialogue unoriginal.  I did not come here to see a similar version of my own life under florescent convention center lights. I wanted ANSWERS.

The second speaker we saw was on the Main Stage and deemed herself "The Happiness Guru." She was a very quirky lady who was OK being 100 percent herself. That in itself is a great message because I'm already second guessing my previous paragraph. Was I too mean? Will they know I'm just joking? Do you think the anonymous guy I was talking about will be one of my 57 readers? Anyway, she talked a lot about not listening to anyone else and following your own intuition. Also, don't focus on money. Focus on what makes you happy. Great. I really like writing this blog but I also need to pay rent. Suggestions, PLEASE?

Then comes Kyle Cease. Whom I am now IN LOVE with. (He has a fiance but does that REALLY matter in Hollywood? Joking. Kind of.) This isn't a physical thing, though. I love him because he is ME. He's doing what I want to do. And doing it very successfully and effortlessly. He is a stand up comic that uses his comedy to make people laugh at reality, simultaneously bringing a transformational message. I mean, he opened with ten minutes on how bad the venue was, calling the convention center an airplane hanger, calling out the other booths making noise. "Alaska airlines flight now boarding at Gate 1," he retorts when when we hear someone talking on a bullhorn off in the distance. I cannot do him justice but trust me, he was hilarious. He then went into the core of his message and I want to share the three main points I learned from him.

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  • FALL IN LOVE WITH NOT KNOWING

Fall in love with anything that is happening. Remember, what you resist persists. I instantly know this is why I was called to this Expo. He goes on to say that you'll never be happy WHEN something happens. First, BE happy, then something happens. Don't worry about being right or wrong. We only do that because we're trying to get something. If we're trying to get something that puts us in a place of lack and pushes it away. Translation in my head: Stop worrying about how many people read this. I do this because it's a passion of mine and makes ME happy. And like five people consistently read it.

Also stop worrying about what's going to happen. He points out that we get anxious by the thought, "I don't know what's going to happen." That's because we have a belief that we SHOULD know what's going to happen. Instead, feel your anxiety or your control issue, love it, and let it go! FALL IN LOVE WITH NOT KNOWING! That's when freedom happens!

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  • TAP IN TO YOUR INNER APPLE TREE

We've all heard that we can go inside and access the infinite, unconditional love that we are. That's the basis of meditation, getting in touch with God and hearing the truth from our souls. But how often do we REALLY trust this? Kyle assures us that we all have an Oprah or a Ghandi inside us so stop trying to be successful. Trust and let God and life flow. Stop being addicted to controlling things we can't control. Go inside and ask yourself, "what feels light and expands me?" Then follow that passionately. Stop caring what everyone else thinks! He asked us, "Do you think Elvis passed out comment cards after a show?" Do you think he cared? NO! He was freaking Elvis!

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Hugging: Sweet or Scary?

When I ask you how you feel about hugs, what do you say?

“Omg I LOVE hugs!”

Lies. People don’t love hugs. I mean we DO hugs. Obviously I hug my mom and Dad goodbye or I’ll hug a friend I haven’t seen in awhile. But these last about 1.5 seconds. And I NEVER hug the random guy I meet at a job interview. Or at Subway ordering a foot long. I’m not trying to get abducted. Or worse, have him smell my after gym B.O.

So I was blown away when I attended National Hugging Day at Agape International Spiritual Center  yesterday, and was told that in order to feel the full effect of a hug it must last for over TWENTY SECONDS. It’s hard for me to wait the twenty seconds I put my coffee into the microwave after pouring too much almond milk in it. You want me to hug a stranger for 21 seconds?!?

To Fear or Not To Fear: Getting my head right

It's been four days since I've been officially out of work. A huge amount of emotion has run through me. Strangely, I had many feelings of sadness due to leaving this job. Not because I love serving people at a restaurant. (or at my old place of work being their actual servant!) I think I mourned the loss of community. Now, every day I'm by myself. And while I definitely crave more alone time to be productive, I'll also miss being a part of something bigger than myself. Of course, this is the time to create something NEW to be a part of that is bigger than myself! But that leads me to my next fear... how do I do that???

DAY 7: The one where I try something scary

Day seven of the 21 day meditation Desire and Destiny is titled "Fearless Me" and centers on the idea that we need to conquer our fears in order to reach our own power. Start by asking yourself, "What are you most afraid of?" Some of mine are spiders, dying alone, and the 5 grey hairs I have will turn into 200. All jokes aside, we do have to look at those deep fears that are seriously holding us back. That's the only way we can identify and change them. My biggest fear is definitely failure. I fear that I'm trying everything and anything to get my writing and acting out there to no avail. I fear I'll be stuck in a job I hate forever, using all my free time to create, until I'm so exhausted that I turn into a raving lunatic or a 600 pound couch potato with 18 cats.

DAY 6: The one where people REALLY test me

Let's ignore the fact that it's been 100 degrees and humid all weekend and I work OUTSIDE. (I should start some union to make this illegal.) Or the fact that today is Labor Day, a day to celebrate all us red-blooded Americans who work way harder than we should, and give us some much need rest. Except I was working. (I should also lobby for a special Food and Beverage Service Holiday where WE all get a day off. Because to US, all holidays mean is we get to work HARDER.) I'll even give some slack to the group of really sweet ladies I served early in the day who told me all about their online dating disasters, called me their therapist when I gave them advice, and then left me a 10% tip. (For those of you that don't know, this is NOT good. It's 20% in 2017, but I figured since I'm all enlightened now I should let this one roll off me.) But after smiling and engaging despite all these circumstances I finally reached my boiling point.

DAY 5: Drop the Facade

Today is Day 5 in the Deepak Chopra and Oprah 21 Day Meditation Challenge: Destiny and Desire. Again we examine our limiting beliefs because what you focus on expands. (Are you keeping your gratitude journal?) A lot of the time we spend beating ourselves up saying we're not smart enough or pretty enough to deserve our dreams. But I'm here to tell you, along with Deepak and Oprah, that we all have a distinct purpose and our passions and desires lead us to that purpose. And I'm talking a bigger purpose than dark chocolate with sea salt or jeggings that don't make your thighs look fat, both of which I desire daily.