It's been four days since I've been officially out of work. A huge amount of emotion has run through me. Strangely, I had many feelings of sadness due to leaving this job. Not because I love serving people at a restaurant. (or at my old place of work being their actual servant!) I think I mourned the loss of community. Now, every day I'm by myself. And while I definitely crave more alone time to be productive, I'll also miss being a part of something bigger than myself. Of course, this is the time to create something NEW to be a part of that is bigger than myself! But that leads me to my next fear... how do I do that???
I have received some very scary news. I’ve been laid off from my job. And since then there are a million thoughts running through my head. What’s going to happen to me? Why are my employers such jerks? Do I have a tent anywhere? Cuz it’s looking like I’ll be homeless. Of course most of the scary thoughts that pop into my head are gross exaggerations, but it brings up a very valid point: how do we deal with anxiety and stressful situations without our heads exploding?
Today is Day 21 of Deepak Chopra and Oprah's 21 day meditation challenge Desire and Destiny. Hallelujah!!! At the top of the meditation Deepak congratulated me for completing the 21 day challenge. (It's pre-recorded. He doesn't know it actually took me 45. But who's counting?) The centering thought of this very special mediation is, "My Destiny is joy." And it all focused on the idea that nothing is too extraordinary. If you can dream it, then you can do it. So go ahead, dream a bigger dream for yourself. I LOVED this meditation especially. I actually listened to it two days in a row because I was awaiting good news and expected to write you a jubilant conclusion to my meditation journey to prove that dreams really do come true. Except when they don't.
And we're in the home stretch!!! Day 20 of Deepak Chopra and Oprah's 21 Day meditation challenge Desire and Destiny. I've learned a lot on the journey. #1: Sometimes I bite off more than I can chew. #2: Sometimes it's OK not to hit every single deadline as long as you're making progress and enjoying yourself on the way. And #3: I need to learn social media and marketing because at this rate I'll grow my page slower than my grandma can figure out how to send an email. And that is SLOW. But I really have learned a lot on this journey, along with my fair share of struggling. The biggest perk has been that the meditations give me a thought to focus on in the midst of my many emotional mood swings, peppered with anxiety and a dollup of depression.